Well hello fellow bloggers how are you all doing? How are your journeys going, I enjoy reading about your travels on this road of sobriety as it helps me while I travel my own path.
Here I am Day 36 and still sober and I want to thank each and everyone of you that said hang in there you will start to feel better after a month. Well I do feel like I am making progress and there have been a few things I measure this by and thank for it.
Last Sunday night I was in bed tucked up ready to thank the world for all my blessings before saying night, night to it and all of a sudden a thought hit me totally out of the blue. On weekends I normally do not work (as in paid employment that is, we all know we have all those other jobs and tasks to complete) and I always try to take my dogs to a puppy play date at our local park. This is where a few of us locals all with smaller breed dogs meet up at a set time for our dogs to play and burn off their energy while learning great socializing skills. Not only does it have benefits for all the dogs but I know for myself and for many others there that it is also great for our own socializing skills and I enjoy it just as much as my dogs. Anyway once again I am getting off the point (sorry my mind still wanders, sometimes right off out of the room) ANYWAYS when I was walking my dogs back home afterwards I would always smile and think about getting home and cracking open my ciders and relaxing for the rest of my evening. It was a ritual, jobs & tasks, puppy play date followed by home and crack open a cider while preparing dinner for my dogs and myself. Then I would blob out for the rest of the evening relaxing and drinking the night away. This time it wasn’t until I was in bed that I thought to myself HOLY SHIT I DID NOT THINK ABOUT GETTING HOME AND HAVING THAT DRINK. I HAD COOKED DINNER, EATEN AND WATCHED SOME TV WHILE POSTING LOST & FOUND PETS ON A FACEBOOK PAGE I VOLUNTEER FOR AND THEN GONE TO BED. I HAD NOT EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT HAVING A DRINK, NOT ONCE UNTIL I RESTED IN BED AND THOUGHT ABOUT THE FACT THAT I HADN’T THOUGHT ABOUT IT ALL DAY. Well I just about shot out of bed out of shock from realizing the fact, holy cow I didn’t think that it was possible. Well I don’t think I am bringing it up in my thoughts as often so that is a huge step forward for me.
My recycle bin, come on you know I couldn’t go without mentioning the Recycle Bin it signifies so much for me. Well once again it did not get put out to the kerb (might have to next week) and it now holds – 9 X Soda Bottles, 3 X Cleaning Product Bottles, 1 X Shampoo Bottle and 2 X Conditioner Bottle’s 1 x Empty Tomatoes Tin & 1 x Disinfectant Bottle. It is sitting on 3/4 full now so this is a massive improvement on my almost overflowing bin I used to put out that had a couple of things in it that were not alcohol and they were always on top (as if it would hide what a pisshead I was lol was I stupid). My recycle bin tells a story about the new chapter in my life all on its own.
There is something else that I am really enjoying here now that I have decided to not drink and that is I do not put myself through the stress of trying to balance an already tight budget and make a huge portion of it available to make sure I have enough alcohol to last me through to the next pay day. Seriously this fortnight I have my house rates, dog registration, car registration, warrant of fitness for my car, my car needing 2 new tyres before it will get that warrant of fitness. The following fortnight I have a BIG power bill from trying to keep warm and wash and dry my clothes during the storm along with my insurances due as well. Fuck My Life normally this would drive me to drink but not this time. This time I am thinking thank god I am not drinking otherwise I would have a huge panic going on right now trying to work out how I could pay all of these and still eat for the fortnight. It is going to be tight and hard because I have no savings thanks to guzzling them all down my throat but this also has me focused. I don’t want to go back to drinking and be living from pay day to pay day like I am now. I want to focus and when I get these bills all sorted my next plan is to focus on paying off my personal loan and THEN build up a savings account for months like these. And ALCOHOL dear alcohol you just don’t fit into the plan and I AM NOT SORRY.