Just wanted to give you all a quick catch up I am STILL sober and will stay that way. I still suffer from bouts of depression but am now aware enough to realize that I would be feeling this way with or without alcohol. But the depression cloud does not hang over me so heavy when I no longer have to work through hangovers. I enjoy just living in the moment as much as it was great to numb things that I wasn’t enjoying in my life it is easier to deal with them and move on without the alcohol. Booze certainly numbed it but guess what the problem was still there it didn’t go away I still had to deal with it and now I can move on quicker.
For those of you that are just starting a sober journey I wish you the best of luck and my advice for you is do what feels right for you in your sober journey. If AA is for you do it, if AA doesn’t feel right for you then you don’t have to do it. If the book or if you are in a country with meetings Rational Recovery works for you then do it, if Rational Recovery doesn’t feel right for you then you don’t have to do it. I could go on with all the different things that have worked for different people and I think you are seeing the key here DO WHAT IS GOING TO WORK FOR YOU!!! But do try things and keep trying until you do find the right thing for you. If you follow these sober blogs on here do encourage each other as it can be extremely lonely world being sober on your own when you are used to a world of drinking.
Well I have enjoyed posting this and sharing my wisdom (for what it was worth) with you all. I really, really hope it helps someone, anyone or even everybody that takes time to read this. Don’t give up, do believe in yourself and if you trip and fall (do use what ever you are addicted to) please pick yourself up and start again until you succeed.
One thing I do want to do is to thank the people on here that I either followed, had follow me, commented on my posts, shared my posts and encouraged me. You have all made a huge difference in my life and I don’t think I would of survived some of the darkest moments without you all xxxxxx – Love, Peace and Energy to You with the biggest hug of thanks I can send.
I seem to use my blog to get out the negative, crazy and embarrassing things that rattle around in my head and often forget to just breath and let you all know that there is also so much in my life to be grateful for. I have many, many blessings in my life and spend way to much time deep in thought pondering over shit that matters but really shouldn’t take up so much space in my head. Could explain why it’s here in my blogging world as purely a way to get it out and move on. Anyways moving on time for a moment to share some of my blessings with you all.
- I am over 300 days sober now (I think I will confirm that when I get home and look at my calendar).
- I am so grateful that even with the mind of an addict I have managed to stay on my goal and am still sober.
- Okay I am not going to start all of these with I am so please take that as a given. Attended my first work party since going sober and am a happy sober day after person now 🙂
- Happy that I got to offer to be sober driver to make sure everyone would get home safely.
- Deepest love in my life is my dog’s and now that I am living sober I am even more aware of their amazing natures and the deepest love that I have for them.
- So happy that I have a roof over my head, food in the fridge for the dog’s and myself, power, phone and electricity.
- I still haven’t mastered how to make my pay last from pay-day to pay-day and end up robbing Peter to pay Paul, but at least I have a Peter to help out Paul! Previously Peter would have already have been broke after finding funds to feed my addiction. So I have Peter to fall back on and the next aim is to not need Peter, baby steps here.
- I still have a bloody good job that pays a reasonable wage.
- My parents are nearing their 80’s but are still in reasonable health.
- I have a volunteer job that I work on in evenings and weekends and I love it.
- Ice Cream, I have Ice Cream in my life. Now that one might seem a bit random to some of you in amongst all of this but picture this – I have food allergies and can not eat anything containing wheat, gluten or dairy. For years I have not had Ice Cream or Chocolate and now I have found a form of both that I can have. PLEASE don’t ponder what is actually in them and to people who can have the real version it probably taste yuck but to me I am in heaven when I eat them.
- Painkillers, I have a problem with a disc in my upper back at the moment and without pain killers it feels like someone is stabbing a hot poker in there.
- Friends, I have some amazing friends around me that I need to learn to communicate with better and I need to learn how to ask them for help more.
- My car, it is nothing flash in fact I would call in a Nana vehicle but oh my I would be lost without it.
- My freedom, you know when I watch TV and I see the poor people in war-torn countries my heart breaks for them. The fear on their tired faces is unforgettable.
- The country that I was born in and live in, New Zealand is a really amazing beautiful part of the world to be in.
- My health which I never take for granted, I have officially died on an operating table and the life that I was living before that was one of repeated illness and pain. Now when I make it through the day well and without pain (apart from my back) I am so blessed.
- This blog as it has become the place where I can just be me and ramble out what ever random shit I feel like with no guilt, shame, embarrassment or nervousness.
- Music, there is pretty much always music close by if not on with me I can’t even imagine being without it.
- stubbornness, okay that is a weird thing to put on this list but without it I would not be where I am in live right now.
If you are still here thanks for reading it all the way though, some of what is on here is so basic but if I was to remove any part from my life the hole would be huge.
Stay strong and every so often please sit back and count your blessings. XOXOXOXO
Wow this has been a really long weekend that I don’t think I would of survived without the kind words of encouragement given to me by people that as far as I know are complete strangers. Earlier today I was very over emotional and the fact that someone took the time to comment on my blog and give me words of encouragement just blew me away. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU to all of you that are following me and especially those who commented you goes rock!!!
PLEASE if any of you are trying to achieve what I am – GIVING UP ALCOHOL FOR EVER and would like some words of encouragement please let me know. We can do this together and don’t have to fight on alone. I have looked at my followers but I am so new at this and can’t figure out how to follow you all or whether you all have blogs of your own or not.