I have been MIA for the week as I have had a bad week and have been angry, sad and trying to stay busy because I am also feeling vulnerable and have a shitty attitude of what is the point of not drinking.
Last Friday I went through the normal afternoon crazy train mind fuck of I WANT A DRINK, NO I DON’T, YES I DO I REALLY REALLY DO BLAH BLAH BLAH. Anyway when I left work I walked out to my car and went to unlock the door and noticed that it had a huge dent in it. Instant thought was WTF!!!! I went to unlock it to put my gear in and found that it wasn’t locked. Once I had the door open I noticed the dash was damaged the steering column was all smashed and the ignition was dangling with many copper colored wires hanging down from it. Upon further inspection I found that the rear triangle smashed. The tow truck driver explained to me that who ever tried to steal it was an amateur because there is a auto cut-out for the engine if you don’t have the key in the ignition. Now a week later and many sleepless nights I am still waiting to see if my car is going to be written off or repaired. One or two bits of the damage would of got it repaired but add the kicked in door as well the price is climbing up there.
As I have explained before I let myself get into financial shit. My car is really not worth a great deal at all to anyone but myself. If they write it off by the time my excess comes off I will come out with bugger all and I would only be able to purchase a heap of unreliable shit. If they agree to repair I am happy to have my old car back as it has had some major work on the motor and new tyres at the end of last year so I at least know it should be reliable and a good little basic car. I have been losing a lot of sleep just worrying about it all and even if they do repair it I have to find the $400 excess which for me will mean other bills don’t get paid.
The oddest thing is I have gone from being angry with the person to thinking I don’t know what their circumstances are nor what their upbringing was so I have an odd mixture of wanting to punch them in the face OR ask them those questions first before deciding if they are an arsehole or not and maybe still punching them in the face. Not really because I am not a violent person but you get what I mean.
Anyway here we are back at Fucken Friday afternoon.