Tag Archives: dogs

Swapping Addictions

Some times I get really pissed off with myself!!!! I was, no have been, doing really great with my weight loss and shaping up. I have lost almost 10kg’s and have dropped a few sizes in my clothes. I fell great about this but then came a friendly warning from my friend / trainer – “I want to know what is your goal weight?” my reply “I don’t have one”. She looked at me with a look of really, raised eye brows, “how far are you going to take this?” my reply “Until I feel good about myself”. At this stage I couldn’t even look her in the eye. She said “but you look great, your face has changed and is now drawn in how about stopping now?” my reply “no I have still got to lose all of this” standing there holding on to my spare tyre around my belly. She just laughed at me and said “we all have parts of us that we are not happy with we have to learn to live with them, I repeat you look great how about stopping now? You can’t afford to keep losing when you already have tummy problems in your life we need to leave you with reserve for those times when you get ill. So how about saying I am happy where I am now?” I didn’t know what to say at this point and said ” I would think about it”. Her come back comment was what threw me – “I am worried that you are taking your addiction from drinking and instead turning that addiction into a weigh loss addiction. Not only that but part of your personality is you are OCD and once you commit to something you take it to extremes.” I had not even seen this link before she said it.

Just so it is clear I love this lady to bits, like a sister and I love her direct nature so I am not offended by her saying this to me I am grateful that she has spoken her mind. She was worried that I would be offended but I wasn’t. Later I was able to tell her I wasn’t upset with her for speaking up and saying it to me. I understand that she loves me and you don’t hurt the people that you love, it’s not rocket science and thanked her for being her. There are actually no other people that can speak to me like this and I thank God everyday for bringing her into my life.

Anyways (sorry once again I am all over the place getting this out of my head) the reason I am pissed with myself is that I have now enjoyed a week of eating what ever I want, I have not been to the gym once and now I feel disappointed in myself. It’s one of those times when this weekend I intended to go to the gym both days but instead this morning I woke up and I was so incredibly tired, exhausted call it what you will. I ended up taking the dogs for their walk after hanging out all the washing, coming home sitting on the computer for an hour, going to the shops, coming home and taking a Nana nap with the dogs, took the dogs to the park for play date, came home did the ironing, cooked dinner and that has been it for the day. LAZY comes to mind, I feel since giving up drinking that I have so much to do and so little time to do it in because I have wasted the last 20 years as a functioning drunk. It was almost as if I used her talk to give myself permission to slack right off.

Tomorrow is another day let’s see if I can be more productive then and go to the gym and get a workout in!!!!! I am suffering depression again and that alone should be another reason why I get off my arse and go to the gym for those happy vibes it produces.

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Reasons Why My Life Is Better Sober

1. There is pride in every day I add to my total of being sober (currently at day 105).

2. I have only had to put out my recycle bin once since stopping drinking (sorry I had to mention it here).

3. Not being afraid of the phone going at night and answering it and having the person notice my slur.

4. My blood pressure is the lowest I can remember for years.

5. I enjoy mornings now.

6. I enjoy sober sleep, it is so much better than sleep fueled with alcohol.

7. Taking the time to cook much healthier meals.

8. My dog’s life has improved as I am able to focus on playing with him at night rather than get annoyed with him because I want him to leave me alone to have my drink.

9. Both my dog’s enjoy going for walk’s after work that is a walk for them giving them time to stop and smell whatever they want on the way without me hurrying them up so I can get home to crack open a bottle.

10. My life in more productive.

11. Having the ability to drive somewhere when ever I want and not having to stop to think how much I have had to drink first.

12. Losing friends that don’t support my sober life.

13. Losing weight.

14. Getting up at 5.30am to go to the gym before work.

15. Not having the stress of making my wages last long enough to support my drinking habit from pay day to pay day.

16. Having this blog.

17. Having the support of others because of this blog.

18. Having the support of a friend in my decision not to drink.

19. Not having to get up to piss numerous times through out the night.

20. Reading a book from start to finish.

21. Walking the dogs without getting short of breath.

22. Not being embarrassed putting out my full re-cycle bin and putting the few non-alcohol related items on top in a pathetic attempt to cover all the bottles below.

23. Actually knowing when I am tired and needing to go to bed.

24. Not waking up on the couch, cold and stumble to bed.

25. Not disturbing the sleeping dogs by getting up all the time for another bottle.

26. Watching a TV series and actually keeping up with what is happening.

27. Having goals in my life now.

28. ……. there is more and I am now finding them every day.

Garbage Day

Well here we are Friday again and Fridays seem to have the biggest pull on me.

You have worked hard all week, go on you deserve it. – SHUT UP BITCH

No seriously it has been such a stressful  week, everyone at work has been saying this is a shit week why not wind down with a drink or two?? – I SAID SHUT UP BITCH

Are Fridays going to always be like this I find myself wondering.

Anyways on with the story I wanted to share with you all from this morning which was our rubbish and recycable collection day. Today I carried out my normal bag of rubbish, my bag of recycable paper and cardboard and looked in the glass/plastic recycle bin. In that bin sat 2 lonely empty soda bottles and it wasn’t even worth carrying out to the kerb side. Now to explain the significance of this my bin is always heavy and very close to being full with my cider bottles on and a few items like plastic bottles and empty cans on top (they always go on top so that hopefully people don’t notice the brown cider bottles underneath). I think I get the prize in my neighbourhood for the loudest clinking, smashing and rattling noise as the guy empties it into the truck. Sometimes there is a household down the road that have 2 bins over flowing with cans and bottles but there is more than one person in that house and I think on those times they have had a party. I haven’t had a party and live alone expect for my two dogs which I will full you all in on one day as they are a huge reason why I am determined to give up drinking FOREVER. How the hell did something so minor become something major enough for me to writing a blog on, I have no idea but there you go.