Now please don’t get upset with my for the heading because I myself come under that title. Oh and I have the proof to back it up I put on my big girl undies on the weekend and got off my big fat arse and joined a gym. The reason for the title is have you guys ever seen the Bruce Willis movie “Sixth Sense” where the little boy keeps seeing dead people? While think of how it says that in a quiet whisper of “I see dead people” and that is how I feel. And it is haunting me as I go out and do things like grocery shopping I just kept running into fat people and it just made me sad. It also made me think I don’t want to be like this anymore. After 20 years of hard drinking I have decided that I want to try to get this weight off my body. I want to feel healthy, I want to fit all the items I have in the draws and wardrobe at home that I purchased feeling to fat to try them on in the shop. Once home I would try them on and then just about sob as I looked in the mirror and realized that I looked like that fucken Michellin Man or just that sinking feeling once you slip it on and you feel it grip you know every bulge is on public display.
Anyway since making this decision everywhere I go I notice fat people and I am not seeing any of them as fat and jolly at all. They just look sad, depressed and ashamed – just like me. I have passed the 60 days sober mark and I am hoping that I am not setting up another challenge to soon. My reasoning is how long do I want to wait and for how long am I prepared to use coping with one thing at a time as an excuse? I want it now damn it and I am prepared to work my arse off. Now my trainer (who is a very dear friend) did all the measurements and pinching with the body fat claws and came up with the result that I am currently sitting at around 45% body fat (told you I have the proof). I figure that is like an extra person free loading on me. This freeloader is making me very tired and has got to go!!!
So off we trot to the gym and you know what I really enjoyed the work out. I also enjoyed hanging with a friend and enjoying each others company. It has lifted my sprit and left me with a sense of achievement. I have taken the first step people, I have lift off from the couch. I have gone from a person that just over a couple of months ago was worried that I was actually going to die from the way I, yes I no one else ME, was treating my body. I am on heart pressure medication and I am on double what my Dad is on. Dad is twice my age has had a heart attack and a quadruple bypass but he is half the medication I am on. SHAME ON ME. But I am working towards changing this and feel good about my decision.