So I’m sitting here just thinking about it more and more and the more I think about it the more I think can I? should I? would I? Then I think just fucken do it!!!! Then I get carried away and not only have I found 1 that I want to do I have actually found 6 in total, that’s right 6 marathons over the next year. Lets see go from sloth AKA couch potato to a person who does marathons WTF right! Do I go for 6 marathons at 42km’s each or do I go for the 21km’s half marathon events hmmmm I’m not sure on that one. The first event would be in 3 months time so possibly the half and see if that kills me, I’ll think and see. That would mean I am doing events in September, October, December, February, March & April.
Why am I even thinking about it??? Well I need to get into exercise and I am struggling to stay motivated BUT if I have a goal to aim for I am a stubborn arse shit and I think I have a better chance of sticking at it. Also hopefully over that period of time I will form a habit and actually stick at it once they are all finished. Shit if I do the 21km’s this year what if I aim for the 42km’s next time round when I am fitter.
There is another reason why I need to do this I need to stop dwelling on things and feeling sad. Exercise is a natural anti-depressant and I need it I know that being an alcoholic it’s to easy for me at the moment to think what’s the point what does it matter if I drink but I realize that is my alcoholic inner beast talking. Can I pull this off, can I find the time to do this, will my body be able to cope with this? I need things to look forward to, I need things that I am proud of myself for achieving afterwards. At the moment if I don’t have some sort of goal or plan I am drifting and it’s a dangerous sort of drifting.
Living life sober, raw & real is the only way I want to be but it does always require an awareness of my alcoholic demon and I have to be prepared to put in the work and have plans and goals in place to keep me heading in the right direction.