You know what I am really feeling the whole Christmas spirit this time around. It has been amazing just how much I am loving having my beautiful Christmas tree up which is about 8 feet tall and looks like it’s been sprinkled with snow and has the most gorgeous lights that flash different colors, pulses and then white lights and then starts the cycle all over again. I also have a Santa Claus and other Christmas teddies that I had stored away and forgot about. Actually mid rant I think looking at my tree that at least once in my life I must have a white Christmas and be somewhere with snow. I have seen snow from the distance but I have never touched it and in all the Christmas movies it looks lovely. Anyway back to my ramblings, just having that tree up has made me realize that I had something else stolen from me in my life and that was all the Christmas times I should of enjoyed instead of going through an internal hell. This time, this time I am determined it will be different. I still have to get through Christmas day but I can still have a lovely morning and evening at home on my own with my dogs.
We are starting to get so busy at work that the team members are starting to get stressed and snappy. Haha this year I am one of those annoying as hell people that is happy and slips the odd Christmas Carole into the music playlist hahaha. I am staying out of drama’s, stress circles which often all feed off each other, gossip and the good old can’t be fucked attitudes. I am just happy to do my job, do it well and I go home exhausted at the end of the day but am still happy. It’s still not and never will be my dream job but I need it and thank God I have it so I can meet bill payments and vet expenses. So to anyone that might want to kill my buzz here’s my message for you – piss off, I am well overdue this feeling and you will not squash my attitude.
Living life sober, raw and real is giving me the mental power to be able to do this and without sobriety it just would not be possible.