Victim versus Survivor

The other night when I blogged about preferring to be called a survivor rather than a victim when it comes to being raped. It’s because to me calling me a victim is giving more power to the people that did this to me, but calling me a survivor is giving me the power. I have taken my power back they have no control over me and never will, ever again.

There is however another side I didn’t think about and a dear friend shared with me, not sharing the whole convo but this part slapped me awake –
“I absolutely agree with how you’re thinking around your parents and wanting to protect them. They are also victims in this, after all. He raped their daughter.” I thought oh holy shit they are victims in this and I have been so wrapped up in myself I hadn’t even thought of that. But after thinking and thinking I have decided oh well they could be if they ever found out about it but I am determined that they won’t find out. If they ever found out they would be so very upset, naturally. But I am determined that they will never find out and by doing so I am not giving anymore power to the whole thing.

Sorry only a brief muse tonight as it has been a full on week. Living life freakin sober, raw & real is so fucken awesome.

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4 thoughts on “Victim versus Survivor

  1. I love how you reason and I think you embody what being a survivor means.

    I think by keeping it from your parents, you’re doing your best to keep them from becoming victims of what happened, perhaps because you know how tough it is to be a survivor? As I’ve said before, I can see why you do. As for the perpetrator, I have little sympathy and always tend to feel rapists and similar should be thrown to the wolves. But your situation is so extreme and of course it’s not just the victim’s (or survivor’s!) family that become victims too, but also the perpetrator’s family. What I mean is, what is more painful: that a person in your family was raped or that a person in your family is a rapist? Of course in your family, there is the horrific reality of the double whammy.

    If only there were easier answers. Solutions. Ways to make it better.

    I wish I could just make it go away for you. Make it undone. Erase it from history. šŸ˜¦

    xxxx

    1. Aww my friend so do I but I can’t so I have to find ways to live with it. I love how your wanting to step up and go to battle for me ā¤ I can't change the past at all I can just make the best future possible for myself and I will with a little bit of support from my Warrior Soul Sister Tribe, because together we kick arse. XOX

    1. Oh Kate my heart just broke for you šŸ˜„ if it’s not enough what has happened to us we also have to deal with the shit afterwards. I am so very sorry that your parents got hurt as well, I hope that you received support from them? I’m sending you a big hug XOX

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