For decades I have been able to drink myself numb each night and slow down the thoughts that race around in my head. I am an over thinker and my mind totally blows things out of proportion and my feelings are so sensitive it’s crazy. Tonight I am having a night when I just can’t switch it all off and there is just to many things all fighting for a chance to have their say. Last night I peeled back a layer and it hurt but at the same time it felt good if that makes sense. It has been my dirty little secret for so long and a hard one to broach and has raised so many questions, memories and feelings about it and other things from my past.
I have tried to tell myself to just let everything go as nothing is going to change and just move on focus on what is ahead of you not what is behind sort of thing. I don’t know if that is the right answer anymore because look where that has got me. Mind racing to much to be able to focus on one subject for to long tonight so will try again tomorrow.