Sober = Can’t switch things off!!

For decades I have been able to drink myself numb each night and slow down the thoughts that race around in my head. I am an over thinker and my mind totally blows things out of proportion and my feelings are so sensitive it’s crazy. Tonight I am having a night when I just can’t switch it all off and there is just to many things all fighting for a chance to have their say. Last night I peeled back a layer and it hurt but at the same time it felt good if that makes sense. It has been my dirty little secret for so long and a hard one to broach and has raised so many questions, memories and feelings about it and other things from my past.

I have tried to tell myself to just let everything go as nothing is going to change and just move on focus on what is ahead of you not what is behind sort of thing. I don’t know if that is the right answer anymore because look where that has got me. Mind racing to much to be able to focus on one subject for to long tonight so will try again tomorrow.


2 thoughts on “Sober = Can’t switch things off!!

  1. If you can do the ‘let go’ part that is nice. πŸ™‚ There definitaly is a difference between who you are and what happened to you. You are NOT what happened to you. But one needs to be very sure that ‘letting go’ does not mean suppressing things. Suppressed things just pop up on another spot, sometimes even looking different. First there is hurt, then it gets suppressed and it pops up as a destructive drinking/using habbit. 😦 So that would not be of help.
    I am not there yet. I (still?) identify with my emotions and memories. I have the theory that I first need to know these intimately, and see where they come from, when and what direction they take so at some point I can say ‘mwoah, you are not really helpful / applicable / neccessary today’. I hope. πŸ™‚ Still feeling my way back into life although I end up in a mess often. πŸ™‚
    Wishing you a nice sober day.
    xx, Feeling

  2. Sober I was forced to acknowledge my severe anxiety.
    It’s interesting how long alcohol (and an eating disorder) held me together…until it stopped working so well.

    Medication, yoga, magnesium, bubble baths, eating well. They are all part of my life. And they have stopped the unending chitter chatter.

    It’s so worth the effort.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s