Monthly Archives: December 2014

5 Simple Things to Start Doing for Your Happiness

I just had to share this with you all. It is from a great blog that I follow and I have included the line to go to their site if you want to. This is just the first 5 but the give 27 in total –

  1. Start learning to be more human again. – Gadgets are great, but they can get in the way if you aren’t careful. Control them so they don’t control you. In other words, put down the phone. Don’t avoid eye contact. Don’t hide behind a screen. Ask about people’s stories. Listen. And smile together.
  2. Start filtering out the noise in your life. – Be careful about who you give the microphone and stage to in your life. Don’t just listen to the loudest voice. Listen to the truest one.
  3. Start choosing differently, for your own well-being. – A big part of your life is a result of the little choices you make every day. If you don’t like some part of your life, it’s time to start tweaking things and making better choices, right now, right where you are.
  4. Start being way more productive than you are busy. – There’s a big difference between being busy and being productive. Don’t confuse motion and progress. A rocking horse keeps moving but never makes any forward progress. In other words…
  5. Start dedicating time every day to meaningful activities. – What you do every day matters, but WHY you do what you do matters even more. So quit doing just what you’re able to do; figure out what you were made to do, and then do more of it. And if you only have fifteen minutes a day to spare, no problem – make those fifteen minutes meaningful.

It is from Marc and Angel Hack Life and I have been following it for a while with daily emails that really do get me thinking. Hope some of you enjoy it and find it helpful as well –

http://www.marcandangel.com/

 

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183 Days Sober and a few things I have learnt along the way.

I first saw the above image while at the gym and thought how true is that. If we are not happy where we are, with what we are doing, if we want to change we get a second chance every second of every day. I was so unhappy when I was drinking in the end. It was a habit and one that consumed me. I couldn’t wait to get home in the evenings and relax and unwind with my box of cider. I couldn’t really afford to drink to the excess that I did so would often purchase it by using a shop charge card. I was unwell in my mind and my body. I suffered from depression and at night would be consumed with thoughts that I would over analyze and would let minor things develop into full blown major things (in my head) that would also depress me more and had me so negative I don’t know how I survived. My body was obese, my blood pressure extreme and I won’t even go into my digestive system and how I have abused that over the 20 years I was drinking. I knew I had to change and sometimes I would scare the shit out of myself thinking I would probably die today when I knew that my blood pressure was off the chart from my drinking the night before.

I was miserable and thought that coming home and drinking myself numb each night would block that out. I don’t know why but after years of this and abusing myself something just went off in my brain and I realized that I was not getting anywhere in fact I was just heading to an early grave and things could never get better from there. I knew that I had to stop and correct myself because I am responsible for my actions, no one else. I have had shitty things happen in my life and there are still things that I don’t know how to deal with BUT I am the only one that could change the direction of my life and make it a more enjoyable life to be living. The major changes I have made so far is I have been sober for 183 days now and believe me every second of that counts. I still have moments often where I really, really REALLY want to drink. I have lost a lot of the excess weight through not drinking AND by joining a gym. I LOVE weight lifting and I LOVE cardio and the feeling of having a much healthier body is amazing. Every time I have thoughts that I really want to drink I stop myself by thinking I have worked so hard to get to where I am today and I just don’t want to start back at day one, hour one, it is just to hard. I often wonder if I can just buy a 6 pack and just give myself one night with that nice buzz going on. But then I think about the fact if I give myself permission to do that I will give myself permission again and again until I am right back where I started. I am also happy waking up and not feeling like crap with the dry horrors, furry tongue, headache and most times a bad tummy. I want a drink but not as much as I don’t ever want to feel like that because I have drunk again.

Now for a few things I have learnt along the way that has worked for me, please remember everyone’s journey is different and I am not saying hey do this it will help you but it might help you.

Vitamins – I now take vitamin C, B, Multivitamin and Magnesium Complex every day.

Listening to Self Help Pod Casts and Reading Self Help Books – really didn’t help me at all and instead made me over analyze things that had happened in my past and dwell on them way to much. I do not want to give negative things in my past anymore of my time, they are history I can not change them but I have learnt from them and that’s it. Slamming the door on them.

Exercise does help – I love the gym but I find even something as simple as going for a walk is so good for the soul and the body.

Blogging – An amazing tool that helps you get the stuff that is rattling around in your brain out. It is amazing how somethings are just better out and written down. By blogging somewhere like here you can find an amazing support group of people that are dealing with the same sort of shit everyday.

My mind wanders all over the place and has trouble staying focused on anything for a long period of time. Guess what this is normal for people with addictions. Even now my mind is still all over the place but I would say that it is improving and I can focus more at work.

Being Uncomfortable – If things make you uncomfortable e.g. our work Xmas party, I just don’t do them. Not this year maybe next year when I am stronger. How ever I did enjoy arriving to work the next day and seeing the sorry state of some of the party goers, sadistic? maybe 🙂

Sleep – sleep is good. I have been abusing my body for so long that no wonder it is exhausted. Now I am making it exercise and not giving it the poison it has run on for the last 20 years. It deserves a break and resting is not always being lazy it is giving it a break and letting it recharge.

Your mind will come up with some really good arguments as to why you should have a drink. Once again remember it has been working with alcohol or drugs fueling it. It is going to take a while for it to settle down and learn what the new normal is.

Be kind to yourself. Stop beating yourself up and putting yourself down all the time. I find myself calling myself a dumbarse often now I pull myself up for that.

No matter who you are or what you have done so far in your life remember ‘You decide every moment of every day: Who you are & What you believe in. You get a second chance, every second.” If you don’t like it, change it for yourself.

Lonely in a full room

This follows on from my post the other day about being surrounded by people but still very much alone. I have been envious of couple’s and the fact they have each other to share with, to encourage each other to succed and to praise and support and to just have someone to come home to at night and be happy to see each other.

BUT I am losing that envy really fast and realizing how greatful I am that I come home to 2 dogs that ARE happy and excited to see me every single time I come in the door.

I have been watching people and I am seeing couples that have been together for a very long time and they are taking each other for granted. They are spitting comments at each other that frankly aren’t very nice and they appear to be happier when they are alone. I don’t get it even my parents, who have been married for over 40 years, will argue over the stupidest things e.g. it’s white, no it’s cream, I think you get the picture. What is it that makes us get so comfortable with a person that we feel we have the right to share our shitty modes with them and to even take it out on them even if it is nothing to do with them? Do I have an unrealestic view of the world where I think that it should be about love, support, encouragement, commitment and bringing out the best in each other?

I would settle for some great friends but I just have to figure out how to find them in todays busy world. Everyone is so busy and I think we are losing the art of good friendships.

Okay rant over for now 🙂 I’ll be back, I have to get back to doing some work.

167 Days Sober

Well here I am at the end of another day, day 167 to be exact. Did I think at the start of this journey that I would still be hanging in there at that number? To be honest no, no I didn’t. Did I know that I could do it if I put my mind to it? Yes because I am a very stubborn person when I put my mind to something. But did I realize that I would still be wanting a drink more than once a day at this stage? Hell no, but I do and it pisses me off. It’s just a number right? 167 Days Sober, besides who would I really hurt if I started again? Would anyone be upset with me if I started again? The answer to both in nope, no they wouldn’t.

There have been days where I haven’t thought about it at all and they are a blessing. I don’t think it helps that we have hit the festive time of the year as well. I am finding it easier to stay at home then to participate in the festivities. This is bringing on another problem, loneliness and boredom. I have a sadness inside me like when you are in a room full of people but you feel so very alone. I wonder if it would just be easier to give in and just join them all and start drinking along with them. I don’t want to but I don’t know how to deal with this. While typing this I have decided that I am going to dig deep and see this Xmas and New Year through SOBER. Surely I can find a way to make some sober friends that just want to enjoy each others company over a good coffee or meal. I did not realize that in today’s society so much is built around getting together and drinking.

Anyway I will try to write a better post for you all this weekend. I have been checking in and reading all of your fabulous posts but just couldn’t sit still long enough to get one together for myself. I still have trouble focusing on one thing at a time.