Monthly Archives: October 2014

Self Help Books – Really Ain’t Helping

Is it just me or have others of you found that by reading self help books you finish them and you are more fucked up than before you read them? Seriously I have had stuff happen in my life that if I wanted to sit there and feel bad about for the rest of my life I could. But by doing that I would be missing out on getting on with life and hopefully stumbling across something wonderful. I just find that these books, oh and pod casts that I thought might help me to improve myself on my journey actually make me dwell on the negatives that have happened in my life instead of focusing on the zillion amazing blessings that I have had and still get in my life. I am going to stop reading and listening to them and see what happens.

If you are someone that has found them helpful in your journey I think that is wonderful but I just am not finding that.

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Looking Forward To A Sober Summer

I am really looking forward to this summer, my first summer sober, it’s going to be freaking awesome!!!! No hangovers, no forgotten memories this is going to be the best one I will have on memory.

How sad arse is this I can even remember a time after a hard night of drinking I went to the beach the next day with all the night before party goers. I think when I first got there I would of still been drunk from all the Sambuca the night before. This is not surprising considering I drunk a bottle on my own which is something I say with shame now not with pride like I used to.  I have no idea why I even agreed to going to the beach since I am one of those people that hate the beach. I love swimming but that sand and grit mixed with the fact I get skin cancer makes it a stupid place for me to be. After about 1/2 an hour of being there I actually had to go for a swim a long, long, long way out. My reason for this swim was not a sudden burst of energy but to vomit up the poison of the night before. I had to swim a long way as to not be seen or to have my vomit polute the swimming area of anyone else. I am way out and just treading water vomitting, it was so gross I had to vomit then dive under the water and away from the stream of vomit. You would of thought at this point I would of thought to myself gee do I have a drinking problem, seriously. I am so glad that I didn’t drown that day but no I survived to party on again that night.

ANYWAYS….. this summer is going to be so different, I can’t wait. I have such a basic but happy life. I am going to take my dogs for walks in the evenings once the day’s heat has died down. Last weekend I got a vegetable garden planted so I am going to have fresh salads. potatoes, broccoli, carrots and tomatoes etc. I will be sober and awake so I can even enjoy watching and remembering TV in the evenings (I repeat TV is so much better when you can actually keep up with what is happening). Oh and if TV is crap I have some wonderful books that I might even take the time to read.  Oh I have just thought of another I can even go walking myself in the evenings for exercise (walking the dogs isn’t the same by the time they stop to sniff everything, I always remind myself it is their walk not mine) and keep going with my fitness / get healthy buzz, 9.5 kgs down so far YES!! Oh there is just so much more I can do SOBER I think my biggest barrier is going to be time but at least I won’t be wasting time drunk, asleep drunk or sleeping off being drunk the next morning. Life is good sober people, SO MUCH BETTER.

Suicide – Advice Needed

The other night I came so close to losing a friend to suicide that it has scared the shit out of me. Has made me think twice now about where I was not that long ago on my sober journey and major depression hit me and I thought about suicide myself. Not now and now that I see the affect never again. Now I am trying to support her and would like any feedback from you beautiful people. I want to know any idea’s on how to help a person and the best way to get her to understand that things are really shit for her at the moment but they will get better. I have also told her that the old saying of what doesn’t break you really will make you stronger and would love to know how to hammer this message home.

Reasons Why My Life Is Better Sober

1. There is pride in every day I add to my total of being sober (currently at day 105).

2. I have only had to put out my recycle bin once since stopping drinking (sorry I had to mention it here).

3. Not being afraid of the phone going at night and answering it and having the person notice my slur.

4. My blood pressure is the lowest I can remember for years.

5. I enjoy mornings now.

6. I enjoy sober sleep, it is so much better than sleep fueled with alcohol.

7. Taking the time to cook much healthier meals.

8. My dog’s life has improved as I am able to focus on playing with him at night rather than get annoyed with him because I want him to leave me alone to have my drink.

9. Both my dog’s enjoy going for walk’s after work that is a walk for them giving them time to stop and smell whatever they want on the way without me hurrying them up so I can get home to crack open a bottle.

10. My life in more productive.

11. Having the ability to drive somewhere when ever I want and not having to stop to think how much I have had to drink first.

12. Losing friends that don’t support my sober life.

13. Losing weight.

14. Getting up at 5.30am to go to the gym before work.

15. Not having the stress of making my wages last long enough to support my drinking habit from pay day to pay day.

16. Having this blog.

17. Having the support of others because of this blog.

18. Having the support of a friend in my decision not to drink.

19. Not having to get up to piss numerous times through out the night.

20. Reading a book from start to finish.

21. Walking the dogs without getting short of breath.

22. Not being embarrassed putting out my full re-cycle bin and putting the few non-alcohol related items on top in a pathetic attempt to cover all the bottles below.

23. Actually knowing when I am tired and needing to go to bed.

24. Not waking up on the couch, cold and stumble to bed.

25. Not disturbing the sleeping dogs by getting up all the time for another bottle.

26. Watching a TV series and actually keeping up with what is happening.

27. Having goals in my life now.

28. ……. there is more and I am now finding them every day.